The other day was terrible. I'm not sure what was going on, but my kids were annoying me and I was just needing some space. Taylor has been teething molars since he was three months old. They come up and then they go down. Then Makayla was just having toddler attitude. I was feeling overwhelmed with taking care of the kids, the pets, the house, etc and just feeling a little alone. Feeling tired all day doesn't really help much either.
Since we've been back from BC, Makayla has had this cough that just won't go away. She's up once or twice in the middle of the night coughing up a lung (or so it seems) and then because she is coughing she's been drinking more water which means she needs diaper changes more frequent as well. So needless to say the last four weeks she hasn't been sleeping well and neither have I. Taylor too was doing great sleeping completely through the night and then we went to BC and now he's up at least once but usually twice in the night to eat. Phil never seems to hear either of them (interesting, right?), he's just a heavy sleeper! The other night, between the two kids I was up 8 times. By 6:30 am I couldn't do it anymore and woke Phil up to go and deal with Makayla. Wow, that was a bad night.
We also have two guys that work with Phil that are rooming in the basement here. I like them and they're good guys and great with the kids but some days they are all here and I just feel that I need space - my own space, less testosterone and more estrogen!!! So, I was having a bad day and nothing was going the way I wanted it to. I was getting really frustrated with God too, cause it felt like the more I prayed for my kids the more they would wake up. So as soon as they went down to nap I got out my devotion book to have a little read. That specific devotion was on giving thanks in all circumstances. How does one give thanks at 3am when awakened by a crying baby? How does one give thanks when her kids refuse to nap and she just needs a minute to herself? How does one give thanks when her toddler will only eat noodles and will refuse any other food placed in front of her? I was having a really hard time with giving thanks in all circumstances. So I had a little chat with God, had a little cry and got on with the day, as tiring as it was.
But God must have had something up his sleeve, because the next day Phil worked a double shift (approximately 7am until 11pm), one of the roommates also worked a double shift and the other one was out all morning and then worked the evening, which meant the kids and I had some space and we could just chill. It was a much better day than the day before. I am trying to take things one day at a time. Some days are great, others not good at all. But through it all I'm learning to attempt to give thanks in all circumstances... cause that's what the Bible says, and so that's what I'm going to try and do. It's not easy and I'm really struggling with it, but I know that there's a lesson to be learned and I'm going to try my hardest to be faithful and keep on keeping on!
PS - things have been so up and down around here it's taken me about 5 days to get this posted!
